55 Comments
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Lucrezia OBrien's avatar

I love your coat of arms!!!

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Eric J Lyman's avatar

Thanks! When I first made the image it was supposed to be a simple graph. But then I added the seal and it does look like a flag or coat of arms. I should get it printed!

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Nicky Matisse's avatar

The coat of arm is cool. You should make a little flag like that!

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Eric J Lyman's avatar

I was thinking the same thing!

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Paul Diveny's avatar

I really appreciated this. As a foreigner who lived in Rome for five years, it really resonated with me. I only drove occasonally, so I never developed have your road skills. I was pretty good at Romanesco though, thanks to the folks I worked with. One of whom was actually a Romano de Roma!

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Eric J Lyman's avatar

Thanks, Paul!

You may be ahead of me on Romanesco. I can do an impression of the dialect if (for example) I'm telling a story in Italian and one of the people in the story is Roman. Anyone listening would recognize it. But I wouldn't fool anyone into thinking I'm actually Roman (I can speak English with an Italian accent convincing enough to fool people, though).

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Stephen Scott's avatar

As always, your dispatches contain a wealth of information; some facts needed to be successful while living in Rome, but also the peripheral info to provide context and justification. What I really appreciated was your comment of how this article started, and it seems that by delaying publication additional relevant life lessons were encountered that added to the original story. In some ways, you may be a foreigner but like Cicero and Hadrian, but you are conquering living in Rome as a local, which will most likely let you skip the 7 generation rule! You are a great writer and I truly enjoy each dispatch!

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Eric J Lyman's avatar

You are always so encouraging, Steve! Thank you!

That first event on the motorino actually happened around 12 or 15 years ago. But I always remembered it and I've told the story many times because it really did make me feel proud!

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Glenda Mitchell's avatar

Love the motorino story. You know you're a Roman (to some degree at least) when someone else assumes you are. I'm tempted to send this to a Roman friend of mine (many generations) to see what he thinks.

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Eric J Lyman's avatar

Please do send it to your Roman friend, Glenda! I’d be thrilled to know what he thinks. I already have feedback from two Roman friends (mostly commentary about my translations of the Romanesco phrases).

P.S. People assume I’m Roman all the time -- by virtue of being half Dominican I have the right skin tone, I live in a non-touristy neighborhood, I have a dog, I more or less dress like a local -- but the moment I say something, I give myself away! I speak good Italian but I can’t hide the American accent!

Please ask your Roman friend’s opinion!

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Nicky Matisse's avatar

Where are the comments from your Roman friends? They aren't in the comments, right?

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Nicky Matisse's avatar

I'm curious too!

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Pierre Kattar Sr's avatar

Funny and informative. Thanks

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Sarah May Grunwald's avatar

My husband and his friends chat in Roman or Genzanese and he says me screenshots of things he thinks are funny and I'm like, 'Boh?'

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Eric J Lyman's avatar

Of all the Romanesco phrases I used, that's the one I use the most (and the most useful)!

When I was on a Roman cycling team, I used to say "Ma che stai a dì’?" or even "Che dì’?" a lot. I told my teammates I wanted to be the first "coatto" to have studied in the Ivy League. It was funny for a while, but I've lost my enthusiasm for the phrase since then.

Do the Romans/Genzanese think it's funny or endearing when you say "Boh?"?

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Sarah May Grunwald's avatar

I don't know. My philosophy in life has always been whatever people think of me is none of my business so I haven't asked! I suppose it would sound funny if I'm speaking English, but normal if I'm speaking Italian.

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Nicky Matisse's avatar

I thought I forgot all my Italian until I realized the headlines were in Romanaccio! Haha.

Anthony, the historian guy, has a point. But when those guys became Roman it was a nation. They became naturalized. But that doesn't work for a city. (esp. Rome). Your either from there or you aren;t.

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Eric J Lyman's avatar

I hadn't thought about it, but that's a valid point. I'm going to mention it to Anthony.

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Stewart's avatar

Complimenti Eric! Your story reminds me of a somewhat similar experience I had with a motorino in Florence—except I was on a bicycle. I was going fairly fast and he was quickly approaching for a turn in front of me. I had the right of way but I could tell he didn’t want to slow down and expected me to. I didn’t. We headed right at each other, then both hit the brakes at the last second and ended up with front tires inches apart. I’d say he definitely drove like an Italian. As for me, was that Italian or just stupid?

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Eric J Lyman's avatar

The way you described it, sounds like it was a pretty typical experience all around. What was the other driver’s reaction? Were you both relieved, or was there some shouting?

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Stewart's avatar

I wish my reaction had been a thumbs up and smile, but it was just quick glares before we moved on. I will say that normally Italian drivers are very respectful of cyclists, if not fellow drivers!

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Chiara Santoro's avatar

So much truth in this piece! As a Milanese (well, not originally from Milan, but living there since time) - Rome is another world to me. I love your description of romanesco as "part opera", that's accurate.

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Eric J Lyman's avatar

Thank you, Chiara! Yes, I was happy with that phrase when I came up with it.

Milanese seems musical to me in a different way, more reserved, neater. If they were art styles, I’d say that Romanesco is Baroque and Milanese more like Bauhaus. How would you characterize the Milanese accent?

I’m used to Milanese now, but when I first heard Berlusconi speak after I moved to Italy I thought he had a speech defect of some kind!

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Ella Kanegarian Berberian's avatar

ahaha, "doing anything like a Roman" is the biggest compliment you could ever receive from Romans, I`m proud of you sir!

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Eric J Lyman's avatar

Thank you, ma’am!

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Louise's avatar

As you say, Rome is a city that both fiercely protects its idea of self, and welcomes outsiders to the table. I think people imagine it will have that capital city energy, and instead it's quite provincial in some ways. Having watched decades of foreigners come to live in the city, you can see that some people are blind to the beauty and the history (years ago I had a colleague who simply couldn't get over how "dirty" old Roman palazzi appeared, and the fact that no apartments had a shoe closet (??!!), and others fall so in love that they can easily accept the annoying bits (one of my best friends called her family two hours after getting off the plane, and said, "I'm never coming home. This is where I live now" - thirty years ago and counting).

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Eric J Lyman's avatar

I know what you're talking about. I've seen extreme "hate it" and "I want to move there" reactions to Naples even more than to Rome. I suppose both cities -- even Italy in general -- are acquired tastes.

In your experience, Louise, what are some signs that would lead you to speculate that someone who says after a short time that they've fallen in love with the city and never want to leave will either manage to make things work out or not?

P.S. The shoe closet comment is hilarious!

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Louise's avatar

I don't think I've known of anyone who fell in love with the city let red-tape hold them back. I think problems arise when people think that life will be the same as it is at home, just with another language. I think that the ones who come ready to love it embrace the differences, as you have, and so the annoyances are just the price to be paid to live in such an incredible place.

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Eric J Lyman's avatar

I think people who expect Rome (or Italy in general) to be as efficient as their home country -- not just bureaucracy, but long lines, people saying “I’ll be there in 5 minutes” and then arriving an hour later -- plus the slow process of building friendships, the long learning curve for the language and culture, the conservative nature of the place (in terms of being resistant t change), etc. those people will grow tired of the place quicker. Finding work and getting a work permit is a whole other category.

I agree with you that having a cultural flexibility is a must. Without that, forget it!

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Glenda Mitchell's avatar

Not sure whether he'll respond.....will let you know....

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Elfin Waters's avatar

Eric, I'd put " guido come un romano" in my bio for your next Italy Digital Retreat and your cv !

On another note, my best friend would proudly say she was " romana da quattro generazioni". And as you said, it's funny that Romans are so strict because I was reading that Ancient Rome used to be the equivalent of New York, very multicultural and multi-ethnic.

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Eric J Lyman's avatar

Haha. The trouble is, I sometimes want to "guidare come un Romano" when I'm in the U.S. I was driving to run errands with my mother earlier and I kept wanting to change lanes!

A "romana da quattro generazioni" is pretty good in my opinion. But I have friends in the city who'd say that only the generation of her great-grandchildren will be able to join the club!

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Sapori Stori's avatar

To drive in Rome is a badge of honor. You are becoming more and more local with every activity.

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Eric J Lyman's avatar

Magari si!

I’ve driven (not always on motorini) in a lot of challenging places: Jakarta, Delhi, Lima, Kabul, Santo Domingo, Naples. They’ve all got their issues. But there’s often a strange predictability to the challenges in Rome.

Drivers in Rome will do all kinds of inappropriate things -- suddenly changing lanes, double parking, squeezing between cars, stopping on the crosswalk, drifting to one side, stopping to drop someone off, going the wrong way on a one-way street, honking uncontrollably -- but you can kind of see things developing and get ready.

I will say one thing, though, Rome is not a city where you’d want to look at your phone when driving. You have to pay attention to everything.

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Etta Madden's avatar

Love this! I haven’t thought about an asymptote in years!!!

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Eric J Lyman's avatar

My high school geometry teacher told me understanding asymptotic curves would be useful one day and I didn’t believe him!

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Etta Madden's avatar

Yes! If only he and my calc II prof had used the example of becoming a Roman . . . mine used the analogy of a frog jumping toward the edge of a table and never getting there . . . . Keep writing your great newsletters, please!

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Eric J Lyman's avatar

Thank you, Etta!

Do you know about Zeno’s Paradox? If not, please look it up. It’s related to the frog problem.

I think about it all the time, and I almost mentioned it in a post. But it’s complicated to explain fully, and I’ve seen more than one dinner companion’s eyes glaze over when I go on and on about it. So I thought it best to leave it out.

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Tom Richardson's avatar

When I took my Italian citizenship I (half) joked that rather than a language test it should be a driving one. Though not the standard mirror, signal, manoeuvre test. For one thing we all know a true Italian doesn’t signal unless you’re in their way.

The (Milanese) test I proposed was whether you could drive down Corso Buenos Aires without getting honked at for being in the wrong lane. Now they’ve installed bike lanes and made it (almost) impossible to double park it’s become a lot easier though…

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Eric J Lyman's avatar

I sometimes think that using a turn signal just makes it easier for the other drivers to block you! I've never driven in Milan, but at least in Rome and further south, getting from Point A to Point B isn’t collaborative, it’s competitive.

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