✍️ How to Offend a Sommelier

More than 20 years after passing the exam, I still have questions

An unusual still-life from a meal at Reale, in Abruzzo (EJL photo)

I’ve become an absentminded swirler.

The habit took hold over years of conducting and attending wine tastings. And in that context, it makes perfect sense. Swirling a wine releases aromas and helps reveal its character. But nowadays I often find myself swirling drinks that make no sense: my water glass, my coffee cup, even diminutive glasses of grappa or other distilled spirits.

At some point, my swirling stopped being a technique and became a ritual, detached from the purpose it was meant to serve.

There’s a lot of that going around.

Wine service has a peculiar choreography. There’s the theatrical flick of the wrist as the cork is pulled, followed by a brief, satisfied sniff. I know one place in Rome where a top-shelf wine makes three stops before the diner can take a sip: from the bottle to a decanter to a small glass to a large crystal chalice. And once the cork is pulled, it’s become increasingly popular for sommeliers to come up with creative new ways to display it.

Of course, the sommelier isn’t the only one performing.

None of this is about whether a diner knows where Valtellina or Taurasi appear on a map or can list the grapes used to make an Amarone. It’s unrelated to understanding the difference between Vino Nobile di Montepulciano and Montepulciano d’Abruzzo or knowing how to pronounce Cannonau or Sagrantino.

What matters is more basic: the understanding that a good restaurant meal in Italy is a kind of conversation, especially when it comes to wine.

I earned this tastevin more than 20 years ago and have never used it for its intended purpose (EJL photo)

I am a former vineyard owner. I’ve been a sommelier for more than 20 years. I know my taste in wine well. And I still ask plenty of questions. After all, the wine expert on staff knows a restaurant’s wine list and food better than I do. As long as you’re in the right kind of restaurant, the staff’s goal won’t be to upsell you; it’ll be to help you have a memorable meal. Trust them.

Most of the rituals around wine service are option. But communicating with the sommelier is not.

Over the last several weeks, I’ve been speaking with sommeliers who, unlike me, work in restaurants. And they tell me that before anyone starts absentmindedly swirling their wine, the most common missteps include:

Claiming to be more of a wine expert than you are. The sommelier can always tell.

Not being clear about how much you want to spend. There’s no embarrassment here. If you want to be discreet, point at a specific bottle on the wine list and say, “Something around this range….”

Failing to give them any sense of your taste. Any wine drinker knows enough to say whether they prefer dry or fruity, full bodied or light. In Italy, every region produces good wine, and so asking for wines from the region -- or, better yet, under-appreciated wines from the region -- is a smart move.

Asking for the “best wine” in the region or at that price point misses the point. Ask for one that pairs well with what you’ll order. That’s what the conversation is for.

Misunderstanding the tasting pour. You’re looking for defects, not passing judgement on the wine.

Monopolizing the sommelier’s time. Even the friendliest staff member has a whole restaurant to worry about.

And my own addition: If you look down during your meal and find yourself mindlessly swirling your glass, well, don’t fret. At least you’re holding the right drink.

Who wouldn’t be happy after a recent tasting of Aglianico in Castelfranci? (A Shapero photo)

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