Would have loved to have read this article before I traveled there. I was blessed with meeting you and having you show me some tucked away places so I got at least part of your experience, which was truly the best part of the visit. I would skip Venice
in a heartbeat to spend another afternoon with you and your friends walking around. Keep up the effort to get people to hear you. You are wise in your words.
Had to laugh. The one time I’ve been to Italy I went to Rome, Venice, and Florence.
We actually stayed the first few days outside of Venice in a tiny town called Vallà, the closest city is Castelfranco. We were there for the babtism of my husband’s nephew.
We stayed with friends of the family. Our hosts supplied us with delicious bread and coffee in the morning and then afterwards we spent time with family at their house or went into town. We were treated to dinner in someone’s home every evening while in Vallà. A couple of nights the grandparents of the baby and one night a great uncle in his huge barn at a long table for about 30 people.
The day of the babtism all of us in the one house left the house together to walk towards the town church. As we walked down the road more and more people from town joined the processional towards the church. It was out of a storybook.
One day we went to meet a close friend of my BIL’s who was a jeweler, and my now husband and I wound up having him make our wedding bands. That is one of the few pieces of memoribilia from the trip.
Rome, Venice, and Florence were a whirlwind. If I go back to Italy I would love to stay a month, mostly living like a local, with a few short excursions.
For me it's been about ageing. I used to travel like this... Must see everything. But in more recent years, the desire to see it all has waned considerably. Follow the rusty street signs, I say. Sit somewhere for a day.
Do you mean aging as it translates to lower energy levels or to maturity?
I feel like I was more comfortable as a “slow traveler” from early on. I love talking with new people. I used to get around the U.S. on busses and I am still friends with people I met that way. I first came to Europe as an athlete and between races I loved to explore new cities — Amsterdam, Oslo, Milan, Zurich — on my training runs, while most of the others would use the track. I still like day trips and the idea of stopping in an unexpected church for a few minutes and I’m a faster walker than most of my friends, but my default setting is to let things soak in.
Yes! Slow travel to places you’ve never heard of. So much more interesting. Although I confess my very first trip to Italy was a few weeks in Venice, Florence, Rome, and then Milan! But I learned.
And so pleased to see a photo credited to my friend and wonderful artist/teacher Kelly Medford!
It's nice that you noticed Kelly's photo! I want to use one of her paintings in a future essay but haven't found the right fit yet. She's a talented painter.
Thanks for a beautiful post. Honestly, I remembered how my university friend told me befor I visited Italy for the first time: "Thete`s nothing to do in Rome, you`ll need just 4 days overall". I think I ended up a few weeks there and later came back once again to continue discovering the city. It`s truly weird how we have a list of expectations from each city, that actually bother to experience that city fully and let it transform us, that`s what travelling was all about for me- transformation.
I've heard that kind of thing -- the "nothing to do there"-type comment. I don't think it's wrong, it's just a reflection of that person's taste. I don't know anything about your university friend, but if someone comes to Rome looking for big pulsing dance clubs, or all-inclusive resorts, or futuristic infrastructure, or the great outdoors, or silence and solitude, or a wide array of ethnic cuisines, or shopping malls ... anyone looking for those things won't find Rome very compelling.
At any rate, I'm glad you're in the opposite camp!
ahaha, I`m not sure which camp do I belong to, but one thins is for sure, each city is a living organism that interacts differently with each visitor, if you let it. But if you arrive with certain expectations, strict to-do, to-see, to-eat, to-feel lists, you may never give that organism a chance to show you something else and sometimes that`s all the traveling is about- to encounter something else
Great advice about reading reviews in Italian. The best advice I've heard about taking things slow wherever you go came from Anthony Bourdain. He said at some point, walk into a near empty bar in the middle of the afternoon and order a cold beer. I go a step further. Order two. And watch that world go by. You mentioned a checklist of sites. What's worse is a checklist of countries. My Travelers' Century Club is a place to trumpet your country count. Some clown just bragged about visiting 20 countries in the last 75 days. She's being applauded like she's Ferdinand Magellan. I am sure she never had a cold beer in a near-empty bar.
I’d read that Bourdain story somewhere. You’ve told me about the Travelers’ Century Club before. I’m closing in on the benchmark (incredibly, I’d never been to San Marino; that was country number 89). But I don’t think I’ll be sending in an application.
I’ve made 10 visits to Italy in recent years. Still never been to Cinque Terre, Pisa, Bologna, Assisi, Amalfi or Pompeii. But I’ve spent months living in Rome and weeks with relatives in Reggio. I appreciate those choices of how to spend my relatively limited time in such a rich and wonderful places.
Those places are famous for a reason, and I can't blame anyone who wants to see them. But what I think is a shame is when people go to these places to take a selfie and move on rather than to understand them better and reflect, etc. Did you see the photo in the article from Pisa? That kind of scene happens every day there.
ive lived here 61 years and have been several times to Portovenere, Camogli, Lerici, , lived in Nervi and Genova but never bothered to see Cinqueterre... too steep and commercial
Loved the article, Eric! Insightful and thought provoking. I’ve always abhorred over stuffed itineraries. And feel drawn much more to rural visits for a few days versus cramming tons into a short city visit. Trying to feel the way of life in various places certainly takes a slow approach. I’m thankful your article aligned with some of my leanings. However, now I’m resting more without being very present due to my age.
Hopefully this spring I’ll try again in Italy and southern France.
My wife and I have been traveling to italy together over the past 33 years—recently we’ve been reading through our travel journal/sketchbooks from each trip… I can’t believe how many places we visited in a few weeks!
These days I think, I wish we had a month in each place and that won’t be enough…sigh.
Sounds like it probably turned out OK — you laid a foundation that kept drawing you back. But I feel bad for people whose only memories of Rome are standing in a crowd at the Trevi Fountain or being hurried along by a tour group at the Colosseum.
Just back from caffè with a friend in Pistoia on market day. After the vendor selected the best porcini mushrooms for my risotto and a handful (manciata) of figs, we wandered the Medieval streets to meet our friend. As a recovering American, I can finally feel my self blooming into the dolce part of dolce far niente! Thanks, as always, for your insights!
When you get an itin from incoming visitors and are asked to comment, and you get tired just reading the checklist of sites, it is hard to politely tell people to drop 2/3s and just relax and let it soak in properly! Great post!
Thank you! Yes, I think that dropping 2/3 is around the right fraction for most itineraries.
I go through stretches where I'm active on Reddit and people in the Italy sub-Reddit sometimes post their itineraries and ask for input. It's always surprising to me (1) how many of the respondents suggest *adding* something new to an already-packed schedule and (2) how many answers are from people who'd only been to Italy once or twice.
For many years, I have added full days with no itin when I go anywhere. I was in Verona in the Spring and had maybe a day worth of things I wanted to see (and not including the BS balcony). I stayed for six days. Plenty to see and do, a lot of good food and just wandering with no destination. So much better! In Canada it was always visitors saying: 'We want to see the Rockies and Lake Louse, Vancouver and Niagara Falls, and maybe Montreal.... can we do that over a long weekend.... 😂😂😂
My husband and I went to Rome for 3 weeks last March. Rented an apartment and stayed put. We have traveled a lot and I think this was the best trip ever. We relaxed and enjoyed just "living" in Rome. The trains being so good we threw in a couple of day trips. Highly recommend this way of travel!
Another one that I very much enjoyed. The photo of all the tourists in front of the Leaning Tower, each trying to capture their creative idea for how they're leaning on it, kicking it or pushing it over. That is very comical. I don't think I would ever want to see that in person
The one about the dogs is certainly on my to read list and there was one other that immediately grabbed my attention.. How to Offend an Italian.... see you in the comment section soon
Its a tough one because we often feel the same, where we suggest alternative destinations to our friends or urge the idea that yes, you can easily spend your entire trip in just 1 city or even small town. But then I remember that for many this is maybe their only trip to Italy, where we get to explore year-round. Still, we suggest the alternatives or the slower pace and finding the things you're interested in, not just what socials tell you you should like.
You make an important point. I've faced the same dilemma many times.
Still, even if it's a person's only trip to Italy they aren't going to see everything. Planning an itinerary is necessarily a process of excluding things. You can't reasonably do Sicily, Naples, Pompeii, Rome, Florence, Venice, Trieste, and Milan in a week or ten days. It would be possible to do, say, four or five of them. But once you're eliminating some destinations, why not go down to two or at most three and begin to really understand those places, leave time for unexpected things to happen, and return home relaxed and invigorated?
That's the case I make when I talk to visitors. But as the essay said, I'm usually not successful. Maybe one person in four or five takes the advice. But those who do are almost always pleased they did.
Would have loved to have read this article before I traveled there. I was blessed with meeting you and having you show me some tucked away places so I got at least part of your experience, which was truly the best part of the visit. I would skip Venice
in a heartbeat to spend another afternoon with you and your friends walking around. Keep up the effort to get people to hear you. You are wise in your words.
Mary, what a lovely comment! I’m so glad you got a little taste of Rome. If you ever come back to Italy, please let us know!
Thank you for the nice comment, Mary! I'm very glad you were able to join us that day.
Had to laugh. The one time I’ve been to Italy I went to Rome, Venice, and Florence.
We actually stayed the first few days outside of Venice in a tiny town called Vallà, the closest city is Castelfranco. We were there for the babtism of my husband’s nephew.
We stayed with friends of the family. Our hosts supplied us with delicious bread and coffee in the morning and then afterwards we spent time with family at their house or went into town. We were treated to dinner in someone’s home every evening while in Vallà. A couple of nights the grandparents of the baby and one night a great uncle in his huge barn at a long table for about 30 people.
The day of the babtism all of us in the one house left the house together to walk towards the town church. As we walked down the road more and more people from town joined the processional towards the church. It was out of a storybook.
One day we went to meet a close friend of my BIL’s who was a jeweler, and my now husband and I wound up having him make our wedding bands. That is one of the few pieces of memoribilia from the trip.
Rome, Venice, and Florence were a whirlwind. If I go back to Italy I would love to stay a month, mostly living like a local, with a few short excursions.
What nice memories you have from that trip, though. It's so nice that you got your wedding bands that way!
For me it's been about ageing. I used to travel like this... Must see everything. But in more recent years, the desire to see it all has waned considerably. Follow the rusty street signs, I say. Sit somewhere for a day.
Do you mean aging as it translates to lower energy levels or to maturity?
I feel like I was more comfortable as a “slow traveler” from early on. I love talking with new people. I used to get around the U.S. on busses and I am still friends with people I met that way. I first came to Europe as an athlete and between races I loved to explore new cities — Amsterdam, Oslo, Milan, Zurich — on my training runs, while most of the others would use the track. I still like day trips and the idea of stopping in an unexpected church for a few minutes and I’m a faster walker than most of my friends, but my default setting is to let things soak in.
I think I meant in terms of my needs while travelling. I don't want to rush anymore.
Yes! Slow travel to places you’ve never heard of. So much more interesting. Although I confess my very first trip to Italy was a few weeks in Venice, Florence, Rome, and then Milan! But I learned.
And so pleased to see a photo credited to my friend and wonderful artist/teacher Kelly Medford!
It's nice that you noticed Kelly's photo! I want to use one of her paintings in a future essay but haven't found the right fit yet. She's a talented painter.
Thanks for a beautiful post. Honestly, I remembered how my university friend told me befor I visited Italy for the first time: "Thete`s nothing to do in Rome, you`ll need just 4 days overall". I think I ended up a few weeks there and later came back once again to continue discovering the city. It`s truly weird how we have a list of expectations from each city, that actually bother to experience that city fully and let it transform us, that`s what travelling was all about for me- transformation.
I've heard that kind of thing -- the "nothing to do there"-type comment. I don't think it's wrong, it's just a reflection of that person's taste. I don't know anything about your university friend, but if someone comes to Rome looking for big pulsing dance clubs, or all-inclusive resorts, or futuristic infrastructure, or the great outdoors, or silence and solitude, or a wide array of ethnic cuisines, or shopping malls ... anyone looking for those things won't find Rome very compelling.
At any rate, I'm glad you're in the opposite camp!
ahaha, I`m not sure which camp do I belong to, but one thins is for sure, each city is a living organism that interacts differently with each visitor, if you let it. But if you arrive with certain expectations, strict to-do, to-see, to-eat, to-feel lists, you may never give that organism a chance to show you something else and sometimes that`s all the traveling is about- to encounter something else
Wow, this should be required reading for first-time visitors to almost any country. Very well done.
Another beautifully conceived and written Lyman column.
Great advice about reading reviews in Italian. The best advice I've heard about taking things slow wherever you go came from Anthony Bourdain. He said at some point, walk into a near empty bar in the middle of the afternoon and order a cold beer. I go a step further. Order two. And watch that world go by. You mentioned a checklist of sites. What's worse is a checklist of countries. My Travelers' Century Club is a place to trumpet your country count. Some clown just bragged about visiting 20 countries in the last 75 days. She's being applauded like she's Ferdinand Magellan. I am sure she never had a cold beer in a near-empty bar.
I’d read that Bourdain story somewhere. You’ve told me about the Travelers’ Century Club before. I’m closing in on the benchmark (incredibly, I’d never been to San Marino; that was country number 89). But I don’t think I’ll be sending in an application.
I’ve made 10 visits to Italy in recent years. Still never been to Cinque Terre, Pisa, Bologna, Assisi, Amalfi or Pompeii. But I’ve spent months living in Rome and weeks with relatives in Reggio. I appreciate those choices of how to spend my relatively limited time in such a rich and wonderful places.
Those places are famous for a reason, and I can't blame anyone who wants to see them. But what I think is a shame is when people go to these places to take a selfie and move on rather than to understand them better and reflect, etc. Did you see the photo in the article from Pisa? That kind of scene happens every day there.
ive lived here 61 years and have been several times to Portovenere, Camogli, Lerici, , lived in Nervi and Genova but never bothered to see Cinqueterre... too steep and commercial
I've been to there exactly once, 20+ years ago. From what I've seen and heard I doubt I'll go back unless it's veeeery low season.
Loved the article, Eric! Insightful and thought provoking. I’ve always abhorred over stuffed itineraries. And feel drawn much more to rural visits for a few days versus cramming tons into a short city visit. Trying to feel the way of life in various places certainly takes a slow approach. I’m thankful your article aligned with some of my leanings. However, now I’m resting more without being very present due to my age.
Hopefully this spring I’ll try again in Italy and southern France.
Thank you, Claudia! I'm very pleased about your trip plans for the spring!
My wife and I have been traveling to italy together over the past 33 years—recently we’ve been reading through our travel journal/sketchbooks from each trip… I can’t believe how many places we visited in a few weeks!
These days I think, I wish we had a month in each place and that won’t be enough…sigh.
Sounds like it probably turned out OK — you laid a foundation that kept drawing you back. But I feel bad for people whose only memories of Rome are standing in a crowd at the Trevi Fountain or being hurried along by a tour group at the Colosseum.
Just back from caffè with a friend in Pistoia on market day. After the vendor selected the best porcini mushrooms for my risotto and a handful (manciata) of figs, we wandered the Medieval streets to meet our friend. As a recovering American, I can finally feel my self blooming into the dolce part of dolce far niente! Thanks, as always, for your insights!
What a nice comment, Alecia!
I love going to local markets and getting whatever's fresh. I'm glad the dolce far niente philosophy is really taking root. Have a fig for me!
When you get an itin from incoming visitors and are asked to comment, and you get tired just reading the checklist of sites, it is hard to politely tell people to drop 2/3s and just relax and let it soak in properly! Great post!
Thank you! Yes, I think that dropping 2/3 is around the right fraction for most itineraries.
I go through stretches where I'm active on Reddit and people in the Italy sub-Reddit sometimes post their itineraries and ask for input. It's always surprising to me (1) how many of the respondents suggest *adding* something new to an already-packed schedule and (2) how many answers are from people who'd only been to Italy once or twice.
For many years, I have added full days with no itin when I go anywhere. I was in Verona in the Spring and had maybe a day worth of things I wanted to see (and not including the BS balcony). I stayed for six days. Plenty to see and do, a lot of good food and just wandering with no destination. So much better! In Canada it was always visitors saying: 'We want to see the Rockies and Lake Louse, Vancouver and Niagara Falls, and maybe Montreal.... can we do that over a long weekend.... 😂😂😂
I wish more people planned things like that.
My husband and I went to Rome for 3 weeks last March. Rented an apartment and stayed put. We have traveled a lot and I think this was the best trip ever. We relaxed and enjoyed just "living" in Rome. The trains being so good we threw in a couple of day trips. Highly recommend this way of travel!
I couldn’t agree more! I wish more travelers were our “our” side.
Another one that I very much enjoyed. The photo of all the tourists in front of the Leaning Tower, each trying to capture their creative idea for how they're leaning on it, kicking it or pushing it over. That is very comical. I don't think I would ever want to see that in person
The one about the dogs is certainly on my to read list and there was one other that immediately grabbed my attention.. How to Offend an Italian.... see you in the comment section soon
Its a tough one because we often feel the same, where we suggest alternative destinations to our friends or urge the idea that yes, you can easily spend your entire trip in just 1 city or even small town. But then I remember that for many this is maybe their only trip to Italy, where we get to explore year-round. Still, we suggest the alternatives or the slower pace and finding the things you're interested in, not just what socials tell you you should like.
You make an important point. I've faced the same dilemma many times.
Still, even if it's a person's only trip to Italy they aren't going to see everything. Planning an itinerary is necessarily a process of excluding things. You can't reasonably do Sicily, Naples, Pompeii, Rome, Florence, Venice, Trieste, and Milan in a week or ten days. It would be possible to do, say, four or five of them. But once you're eliminating some destinations, why not go down to two or at most three and begin to really understand those places, leave time for unexpected things to happen, and return home relaxed and invigorated?
That's the case I make when I talk to visitors. But as the essay said, I'm usually not successful. Maybe one person in four or five takes the advice. But those who do are almost always pleased they did.
We'll all keep trying!
So true.