49 Comments
User's avatar
Rob Spence's avatar

Cruel to post this on March 31st.

Eric J Lyman's avatar

Haha. I would have posted it tomorrow, but my schedule for posts is every Tuesday. But maybe that makes it just a little more of a wink, wink kind of thing, no?

Rob Spence's avatar

Esatto!

Eddie Brasco's avatar

Yes, cruel. Haha. It would have been cruel tomorrow too. But funny.

Vincent Wagenaar's avatar

Very good, Eric! I like your humor. I think there may be people who'd print this to take it with them when 'doing Europe'. I only read it today, because the 31st was my birthday. I like that expression 'Pesce d'Aprile' too.

Eric J Lyman's avatar

Thank you! And a late Happy Birthday to you!

It'd be funny (and sad) if someone printed it out with the intention of following its advice!

Italians always smile when they hear a foreigner talk about pesce d'aprile.

Vincent Wagenaar's avatar

Yes, that is exactly what it would be! And thank you for your birthday wishes!

Anna Maria's avatar

I can confirm it's extra funny to hear a foreighner say "pesce d'aprile" ... but you aren't much of a foreigner any more, Eric! I think you lived in Italy for more years than I have (I was here ages 1-12 and then again for the last 7 years with 19 years in Philly in between)

Nicky Matisse's avatar

Happy b-day!!

Vincent Wagenaar's avatar

Thank you, Nicky!

Anna Maria's avatar

ahahahahahahaa!!! It took me a few paragraphs ... but what a laugh. Well done, Mr. Eric

Eric J Lyman's avatar

Perfetto! That’s what I was hoping for!

Sara Phillips Chiappetta's avatar

😂 tomorrow would have been the day, dude! But I know— it’s Tuesday haha

Eric J Lyman's avatar

I’m a slave to deadlines!

Maria Seriakov's avatar

DIVERTENTISSIMO!!!

So well explained Eric!

Indeed, Italy is something like those miltilayer cakes (the "Bruce" cake with 24 layers and even more). You want to eat that cake but in fact you can't even manage a slice because it is so rich and big. So you dig your way down and there is always yet another layer.

The richness of Italy justifies the rule to stick to the main attractions. Yet the temptation to get lost is always there. Finding one's "secret corner of Italy" makes the trip even more memorable, right? It's the emotion that outlasts the facts.

Buon pesce d'aprile

Eric J Lyman's avatar

That’s perfect! I never heard of Bruce Cake but I love the metaphor! Buon pesce d’aprile!

Life Lived Italian's avatar

You had me with this at first— it’s just so, well, American. In fact, it’s more than that— it’s very New York. Friends once recounted to us a schedule that involved seeing the Pantheon and the Vatican Museum in one morning before heading to the airport. Every second counts. Well done!

Eric J Lyman's avatar

That's funny!

I think the U.S.'s rush-rush-rush culture is responsible for it being the world's economic and innovation engine ... and also responsible for health outcomes that badly trail all of the industrialized world. Obviously, I'd flip those outcomes.

Life Lived Italian's avatar

Yes— holidaymaxxing has its limits!

Joanna Rench's avatar

The “bless their hearts” inclusion 😂 love it! Very true and very practical commentary. I’m grateful to continue to visit Italy on a recurring basis so I can plan itineraries that include places I’ve visited many times before as well as new places and experiences. Nothing beats having the Mausoleo di Santa Costanza to yourself, feeding some coins into the light machine, and those glorious mosaics spring to life right before your eyes. I’ve visited that site on almost every trip to Rome since 2019, and I can’t wait to visit there again on the upcoming Rome trip! 🤗

Eric J Lyman's avatar

"Bless their hearts" is such a fun phrase to include in something! I went to college in the southern U.S. (Tallahassee) and people there say it all the time.

My views may be colored by how much I dislike standing in line. But I'd much rather go to a less famous pot and have the kind of experience you described at the Mausoleo di Santa Costanza than to get pushed and shoved around inside the Pantheon!

EESRoma's avatar

As my students say, this was cringe. Ha! Well done!

Eric J Lyman's avatar

Haha! I probably should have included “cringe” in the headline or subhed … that’s the perfect word!

ksantogold's avatar

😅🐟🐠🎣

Gabrielle's avatar

🤣🤣🤣

But where’s my list of…

Timon van Haeften's avatar

The biggest mistake readers might make visiting your post is ignoring the date

Eric J Lyman's avatar

Yes! Absolutely! When I wrote it I worried I might have made the tongue-in-cheek nature of the essay too obvious. But it turns out I may not have made it obvious enough.

Barbara Boyle's avatar

Boy, I am so glad. I was hoping you were tongue in cheek, but it was pretty convincing!!!

Eric J Lyman's avatar

Hahaha! Sorry to make you worry, Barbara! But I’m glad it was entertaining.

Glenda Mitchell's avatar

😂😂😂

I was taught that many a true word is said in jest. Sometimes it's hard to identify the boundary of which is truth and which is joke.

Eric J Lyman's avatar

In this case, the facts in the essay (i.e. how many churches and restaurants) are correct. It all the rest is a dry joke. Or at least I hope so….

Glenda Mitchell's avatar

Given your lifestyle I’d guess as much. I wonder if a different person with a very different outlook would write the same thing and mean it. 🤔

Eric J Lyman's avatar

Oh, agreed! I think half of the Substack newsletters on Italy give at least some of this kind of advice!

Lisette Charlotte's avatar

Omg I was too distracted by the AI monstrosity in the header to even appreciate the post 😂

Eric J Lyman's avatar

Haha. The “AI Monstrosity”! I admit I cringed as kept telling the bot to add new symbols and monuments!

Dr Matteo Preabianca's avatar

You don't need to defend your love for the Pantheon, the Rialto, or David. They've earned their fame across centuries—not through marketing, but through presence. They're not tourist traps. They're touchstones—places where the weight of human achievement is so great that no amount of crowding can diminish it.

The secret wine bar is lovely. But it's lovely because it's secret. The Pantheon doesn't need obscurity to move you. It moves you in full view, under a dome that's been open to the sky for two thousand years.

So nod at the hidden gem. Then ask the question that cuts through: But have you stood under the oculus in the rain?

Eric J Lyman's avatar

Those are good points. But I’ll still take having a hidden gem to myself over sharing a famous spot with a thousand others.

Dr Matteo Preabianca's avatar

Of course. We cannot share everything.

Franky Be's avatar

OMG! I was thinking, does Eric really believe this??? I thought I knew what to expect. Heehee. I should have guessed only from the photo!